Random news

Firstly I need to commend Mopsy on her 80's song lyric knowledge (If you don't know what I'm talking about push the giant "don't push me" button from yesterday's post, then check out the comments). Mopsy, you are truly a Jack of all trades who's talent never ceases to amaze.

As for an actual post for the day, I can't seem to get my thoughts to converge into one topic. I kid you not, I can't decide whether to talk about Sweetiepeas and her crazy mobility or our new milk delivery service. I know, I know any news regarding either of my kids should be an automatic priority, but sometimes I'd rather be in denial that I have a 9 month old on the verge of walking. Plus, I am just so very excited about having milk delivered to our door. As silly as it may seem I actually woke up on Monday with that Christmas morning feeling. I think it was the anticipation of a tall cool glass.

Also in the news department we've sold our house!!! (Yes, I realize that this also should come before milk delivery, but come on it's fresh moo juice!) One year and a week after placing our Atlanta home on the market, it is officially off our books. It's been so long I can hardly believe it. What a relief!

Laundry calls, the vacuum is whining... I'll leave you with a picture of Sweetiepeas that can sort of capture her in action:

Some fun

Here's a fun quiz I ran across online today. Test your 80's music lyrics knowledge.

Explanation

I've decided to break my blogging silence.

I'm good at bottling things up. I know avoidance well. Well enough to know that it is bad. So, I'm going to return to the reason I started this blog in the first place, to vent. Last post I said I wasn't ready, but now I think I am. I think I need to.

Right now the sun is shining. I'm in a good mood. It doesn't seem possible that I've been so at war with myself. I don't like visiting this subject when I'm happy, I can pretend it's not there. I don't like visiting this subject when I'm sad, it rears it's ugly head. It becomes a reality. Frankly, I'd rather talk about the new slightly funky shoes I just bought, or the wedding I bought them for. Something... well, something else. But I owe it to myself to have some release, to stop bottling. It's hard to explain how I feel... Not in control. Not myself. Unhappy - this in particular it doesn't make sense, where it becomes a vicious circle. I'm happy with my life - for the most part with myself - very much so with my family. Why am I so sad?

I'm fed up. I'm angry at the flux in my emotions. Two weeks ago I made the decision that this isn't how I'm supposed to be, I wanted me back. Last week I saw my doctor. He confirmed what I figured to be true, but it was hard to hear. I'm suffering from depression.

Now the sun is shining. I feel good, and it doesn't feel like just a break, it feels real. A step in the right direction. A step back to being me.